How to Talk to Your Kids about Adoption

Think about your life story. Where you were born, your childhood, the friends and family who were there along your journey. It’s probably a story that you’re quite familiar with. You know the ins and outs and you’ve told it in varying degrees of detail many times throughout your life. But what if your life story was something of a mystery? What if the same family wasn’t always there; the caregivers changed and the homes were never the same and friends came and went as you moved or changed schools — or even moved to a whole new country.

Everyone’s life story is unique in some way and each story is valuable. Helping kids learn, understand, and talk about their life story and adoption is an important part of being an adoptive parent.

We know that a lot of people have questions about adoption – adults and children alike. And we know that kids get asked these questions; other kids are asking, or teachers, family friends, or even strangers. So, how do you help prepare your child?

The Adoption Magazine blog has a great post about this topic. We also have a tip sheet about this topic: Empowering Your Children to Share their Adoption Story.

Depending on the age of your child or children, you can use books or even movies to help talk about adoption. We have tip sheets about Adoption Focused Books and Adoption in the Media that you might find helpful. And you can also refer to the posts at the Adoption at the Movies blog.

For even more help and advice – for both parents and children – we are hosting a W.I.S.E. Up! the World about Adoption one-day conference in Madison, Wisconsin on Saturday, April 13. While parents participate in a workshop that gives them an in-depth look at what children understand, think, and feel about adoption as they grow, children will learn the W.I.S.E. Up! tool and how that tool can empower them to handle questions and comments about adoption.

How have you tackled the topic of adoption in your family and with your children? Please share your stories, thoughts, and experiences in the comments and feel free to link up other blog posts about this topic there, as well.

 

Five Must-Attend Training Opportunities for Spring

Training. Ongoing education. Information and support. Whatever you call it and however you want to name it, it’s essential. There is so much to know and learn and do when you’re a parent – especially when you are a parent to foster or adopted children. Expectations can be high and the pressure might feel turned up to an unbearable level.

And that’s where we come in.

One of the many services that we offer is a diverse catalog of trainings. Many of our events are available via webinar, meaning that, no matter where you live, you can attend, tune in and learn some valuable information. Here is a list of the five must-attend training events coming up this spring:

1. Life Books Explained: A life book is much more than a scrap book or a baby book. Life books provide foster and adoptive youth with personal connections to their past. It is a personal account of a child’s life that can help fill in the wholes from their past. Foster and adoptive parents play an important role in providing support in the creation of life books, as well as use the life book as a healing tool. Creating a life book may feel like an overwhelming task due to not having enough information or personal items to include. Come find out more about inventive ways to create life books and how to overcome hurdles that may come up in the process. (February 12, $10, attend in person or via webinar)

2. Our Home Our Family: If you’re feeling frustrated, overwhelmed and alone – both in your relationship with your partner and your relationship with your child(ren) – this is the essential training series for you. Our Home Our Family is a series of workshops for adoptive and foster parent couples. The series includes concepts to better understand your children and their issues, learn new skills for parenting, and find better ways to connect with one another. You and your partner will have the opportunity to connect with other adoptive and foster parents who can relate to your family journey. (Kicks off Feb. 23, $55 for six sessions, NOT offered via webinar; in-person ONLY)

3. Life Books Workshop: Take the skills and information you learned at the February 12th Life Books Explained training and put them to use! Enjoy tips, conversation and community at our Life Books Workshop. Bring all your Life book supplies for a morning of creating a true treasure for your family. Scrap book experts and enthusiasts will be on site to answer questions and assist with the assembly of pages. (Feb. 23, FREE! In-person ONLY. For those in western Wisconsin, the Catholic Charities Post Adoption Resource Center is having a workshop day on Feb. 23rd, as well!)

4. Caring for Children Affected by FASD: Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD) are the number one cause of developmental disabilities in North America. This training will be a great resource for both the general population of foster/adoptive parents, as well as foster/adoptive parents who are caring for children affected with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders. (March 6, $15, available in-person or via webinar)

5. Single Parenting: Self Care and Building a Support Network: Parenting is tough. When you are parenting alone, sometimes it can feel impossible. In this one-of-a-kind training, experienced mother and trainer Patricia Parker will talk to single parents about how to take care of themselves and build support networks. Through the use of a curriculum-based lecture, as well as discussion, Ms. Parker will address multiple ways single parents can become more successful and feel less stressed. (April 9, $15, available in-person or via webinar)

BONUS: Join us for a little fun, as well! We just announced our 2013 Benefit Concert featuring the music of the South End Blues Band. In addition to good music, great food and outstanding company, we’ll be making a very special announcement that you won’t want to miss! (March 15, Gus’ Mexican Cantina, $25 – includes Mexican buffet)

Our Home Our Family Starting Next Month

Our Home Our Family isn’t just a one-shot workshop. By committing to a series of training sessions, you and your partner will learn:

• How to stay connected and keep your relationship strong through good times, bad times, and challenging times.
• How to spot warning signs in your relationship with your child and with your partner – and how to diffuse highly stressful situations.
• How to calm down when you’re boiling over with anger or frustration – and how to help your child cope with a meltdown.
• How to work through conflict in your relationship with each other and with your children.
• How to manage ongoing relationships with members of your child’s birth family.

Our Home Our Family not only provides you with the tools to strengthen your relationship with your child and your partner, but will teach you how to use and adapt the tools to fit your unique family situation. You’ll meet other parents facing similar situations and, over the course of your training, build a personal support network that you can continue to rely on as your family grows.

The Spring series of Our Home Our Family begins with Kick-off Saturday on February 23, 2013 from 9am-2pm. Breakfast & lunch are included. Then, the series continues on Thursdays, February 28-March 21 and April 4- April 18. Each session runs from 6-9pm and is held at Adoption Resources of Wisconsin, 6682 W. Greenfield Ave, Suite 310, Milwaukee. For online registration visit http://ohofspring2013.eventbrite.com/ or you can call us at 414-475-1246. Fee:  $55 per couple, includes nine modules with a workbook for each person.

 

 

 

Working with Birth Parents

Join us for an engaging evening with Peg Cadd around the topic of working with birth parents. Peggy is an adoptive parent who has honed the art of working with the birth parents who have come into her life while she was fostering children.

This training will include a presentation portion as well as a lot of time for questions.

Tuesday, November 6th

6:00-8:00 p.m.

Cost: $10

Via webinar from your home computer or in person at: ARW, 6682 West Greenfield, Suite 310, Milwaukee, WI 53214

Register online at: http://birthparentwork2012.eventbrite.com  or contact info@wiadopt.org or 414.475.1246

A Place in My Heart Conference: Finding Your Life Vest in the Storm

The life experiences that your children have faced before coming into your care leave profound and lasting effects. Even after leaving a negative, painful or traumatic environment, the consequences can ripple through your home and your family on a daily basis. This workshop will examine your child’s past and what, if any, emotional and behavioral problems they may have inherited. Dr. Delaney will  offer you concrete tools to use in understanding and healing your child. His perspective will help you attack these negative behaviors from multiple angles.

Dr. Rick Delaney is a nationally known speaker and consultant to foster, kinship and adoptive parents. He is a consultant to Casey Family Programs and other foster care and adoption agencies. Dr. Delaney is the author of several books in the area of foster care and adoption, including Fostering Changes: Myth, Meaning and Magic Bullets in Attachment Theory and A 3-D View of Foster, Kinship and Adopted Children (co-authored by James Kagan, M.D.). He has helped to develop the SRDI (SAFY Risk of Disruption Inventory), an instrument that identifies foster children’s risk of disruption. He is the principle investigator of Foster Parent College, an online resource for foster and adoptive parents, and has helped to develop an online training series for Portland State University’s adoption-competent mental health certificate program. Dr. Delaney is a father and step-father and lives in Colorado and Texas.

 

 

 

Saturday, November 3, 2012

9am–4pm

Glacier Canyon Lodge at the Wilderness, Hwy 12 & Hillman Road, Wisconsin Dells, WI

REGISTRATION

Cost: $45 per person/$80 per twosome          $50 for professional

Registration Deadline: October 12, 2012

Register online at http://aplaceinmyheart2012.eventbrite.com Or call 414-475-1246 for more information

Hotel Accommodations:

Glacier Canyon Lodge at the Wilderness, HWY 12 & Hillman Road, Wisconsin Dells

A block of rooms has been reserved. Please call 1-800-867-WILD (9453) to make your reservations. Ask for block #307256 for Adoption Resources of Wisconsin at Glacier Canyon Lodge.

$99 for Double Queen with Sleeper couch at Glacier Canyon Lodge, $139 for 2 bedroom Deluxe Condo 

Please note: the above rates are for Friday, November 2. A limited number of rooms can be extended for the same rate on Saturday, November 3.

This event is sponsored by Adoption Resources of Wisconsin, Jockey Being Family, Catholic Charities – Madison, Catholic Charities – LaCrosse, Family Servcies and the Department of Children and Families.

Our Home Our Family

What is Our Home Our Family?

Successful adoptions and foster care placement don’t begin or end when families open their hearts and homes to welcome the children into their lives. Success comes through positive communication, education, peer support and coaching skills. That’s what Our Home Our Family (OHOF) is.

OHOF has been tested with real families just like yours . . . and the results have been amazing:

• 97% of couples who have been trained felt that their family functioning had improved.
• 99% of couples trained said they had a better understanding of their family’s needs and challenges.
• Couples reported a 380% increase in confidence when dealing with their children’s behavior.
• The length of time between instances of children’s troubles at school increased by 72%.

Better yet, all of these improvements have held for a full year after training – in many situations, families are still seeing positive changes five years after they took the OHOF classes.

“The Our Home Our Family program encouraged us to spend more time as a family doing more things together and talking more openly about things that we normally would never have talked about in the past.”

Is Our Home Our Family Right for Me?

Our Home Our Family isn’t just a one-shot workshop. By commiting to a series of training sessions, you and your partner will learn

• How to stay connected and keep your relationship strong through good times, bad times and challenging times.
• How to spot warning signs in your relationship with your child and with your partner – and how to diffuse highly stressful situations.
• How to calm down when you’re boiling over with anger or frustration – and how to help your child cope with a meltdown.
• How to work through conflict in your relationship with each other and with your children.
• How to manage ongoing relationships with members of your child’s birth family.

Our Home Our Family not only provides you with the tools to strengthen your relationship with your child and your partner, but will teach you how to use and adapt the tools to fit your unique family situation. You’ll meet other parents facing similar situations and, over the course of your nine sessions, build a personal support network that you can continue to rely on as your family grows.

This program requires a major investment of time and energy from lives that are already busy and demanding; but in return, you’ll see a major impact on your family life. Come join us.

“My partner and I have learned that it is important to put each other first and nurture our relationship. We make time to talk and just be together so we can stay connected, which enables us to face the many challenges we face as we parent our hurt children.”

5 sessions

Saturdays, October 13th, October 20th, November 17th, December 1st, & December 15th

Adoption Resources of Wisconsin

6682 W. Greenfield Ave., Suite 310

Milwaukee, WI 53214

Online registration: http://ohof2012fall.eventbrite.com

Or call 414-475-1246

Fee: $55 per couple

Includes materials, lunch each session, celebration dinner, and child care stipend.

You will also receive a 50% off registration fee to our annual A Place In My Heart Conference in Wisconsin Dells on November 3rd.

Our Home Our Family™  is a curriculum developed by Adoption Resources of Wisconsin and LCLC, Inc., Seattle. For more information about the curriculum, visit our website www.ourhome-ourfamily.org.

Basic African American Hair Care

Confused about how to care for your African American child’s hair? Come learn the basics from the experts at the Hosea LaMont Beauty Science Institute. This course will go over basic care, products, and tips. It is a great starting point, refresher and lead up to our Advanced Hair Care class on October 13, 2012.

We ask that you do not bring your child to this event and childcare WILL NOT be provided.

This course will be available in person or on the web. If you select to participate through webinar a link will be e-mailed to you before the event.

W.I.S.E. Up! the World about Adoption Conference

Join us in Eau Claire on September 22 for the W.I.S.E. Up! the World about Adoption Conference. This is an extraordinary conference for parents and children alike and will teach you both some valuable tools and tips about sharing your adoption story.

Parents will participate in a workshop that will proved an in-depth understanding of what children comprehend, think and feel about adoption as they grow. The common questions, fears and concerns adopted children face will be addressed.  We will also explore the dynamic between non-adopted peers, extended family, and even strangers.

This program has spread across the country as children have embraced its simplicity and power to address the consistent challenge of explaining adoption and their adoption stories to peers, neighbors and even strangers. W.I.S.E. UP!® is a tool to empower children to handle questions and comments about adoption from others. This program helps children realize that they are not alone with this task. Children will learn the program, create Powerstix and role play various scenarios.

Register online at http://wiseup2012-eorg.eventbrite.com/